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Are You Love-Phobic?

Dr. MomAre You Love-Phobic?
Written by Dr. Geraldine "Dr. Mom" McInnis
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." John 13:34-35 (KJV)


I was sitting in a room one day with women who were regarded as gifted communicators and community achievers. They had earned their gold pins and wall plaques for their accomplishments and contributions towards the betterment of mankind. These women were educators, business owners, authors, pastors, coaches and counselors. Some were married. Others were single and a few divorced. They were acquainted with the sound of applause or the letters of appreciation for their effectiveness in conveying words that brought about change in other people's lives. But in that room also sat women who seemed lost and uncomfortable without their podium, piano, photographer, parishioners or platforms.  You could cut the tension with a scalpel.

These powerful women knew how to address a crowd but were ill equipped in how to talk to her neighbor. When a question was asked they gave quick low-tone responses. They looked like they wanted to say, "Leave me alone. I don't want to be bothered." They were out of their comfort zones. This unfamiliar setting left them vulnerable because they were not in control of that environment. In other words, they were not in the driver's seat taking others from point A to point B.  Therefore, they appeared to be anti-sociable when all the time they lacked the ability to show love on a personable basis to other sisters who were not their family, fans or best friends. 

I recall giving a warm and vibrant greeting to a few of them to help break the ice since it was so quiet. They looked as if I was there to rob them of their designer (knock-off) pocketbooks or to change their hair color back to black.  Okay, I'm making myself laugh as I write this.  Dr. Mom needed that moment to release that hearty chuckle. However, the deep truth is that it is sad that we are not merging, connecting or partnering more with one another without signs of distrust. 

Dear women of faith, the only way we are going to expand the territories for the Kingdom of God is to come out of our space capsules and return to earth. It is a satisfying feeling preaching to the multitude and writing to the thousands. But it is more fulfilling reaching out to your brother and sister in a tangible and life-changing way.

It's more than helping the homeless or feeding the hungry. It's about showing love to your sister next door to you through acts of kindness. Real love is speaking to the disgruntled customer who is standing in line behind you. The love of present-day disciples should be exemplified by visiting the discouraged pastor of a smaller ministry who is anointed but lack the manpower and funds to make her dreams come alive. Our love should compel us to reach out without charging her for our useful services.  

As our society recognizes Valentine's Day and all the hoopla of romantic love let's remember that "perfect love casts out all fear" and that God did not give us the spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind.

Above all, as His living disciples we must take on His likeness and bring back to recall that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but they shall have everlasting life. What manner of love is that?

God is not afraid to love us. Let us not be afraid to love one another!


About the Author
Dr. Geraldine McInnis lives in Bowie, MD and is joined in marriage and ministry with her husband Larry for over 30 years. They have three adult children and one grandson.Geraldine earned her Masters Degree in Christian Counseling and a Doctorate in Theology. She is a crisis interventionist and has pastored for over 16 years.She is one of the refreshing prophetic voices in the Christian arena. Visit Dr. Mom at: and  

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